My Babaji was an extraordinary man.
He was born to parents with humble resources in a village in U.P. and lost his father when he was still a child. He, along with his elder brother, was raised by his mother; who stitched clothes in the village to make a livelihood. The family had some agricultural land in the village and he learned to be a farmer and a man at a very young age.
My pardadi had the good sense to get her sons educated at a time when India was still not free and secondary educated was rare, especially in small villages in U.P.; where no one knew any other way to be except agriculture. At the age of 20, Babaji was married to my Dadi and soon after they moved to Delhi where they created a new world of their own, at a time when the country had just found freedom and things were still falling in place one piece at a time. My grandparents had five children; two sons & three daughters; out of whom my father was the second eldest child and the eldest son. The first decade after my grandparents’ marriage was the toughest for them. Their children were growing up together and the responsibility of their education as well as upbringing in a city like Delhi was a big challenge in those days when skilled employment was still an uncommon concept. Their first few years in Delhi saw the family moving from one small house to another with both of them doing any odd job they found. If there ever were two people who personified perseverance, then it is my grandparents. They loved each other and their family and never let the tough times come between themselves & their happiness.
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| Eternal love: Dadji-Babaji at their 60th Anniversary; July'08 |
Their perseverance paid off and Babaji managed to secure a job in Delhi Cloth Mill (DCM) where he worked till his retirement, while Dadiji who holds an M.A. in Hindi (a degree she earned after marriage and birth of 2 children) joined the DCM elementary school as a teacher. Over the next two decades, while the going was still tough; they had a place to live (DCM gave staff quarters to all employees above grade II) and food on the table, while the children had education and clothes and it was all they ever asked for from God. Today, out of their five children, the eldest & third daughters (my Buas) are secondary school teachers in top schools and the youngest daughter is a Doctor, holding the position of Director Professor in one of the top Govt. hospitals in Delhi. Out of their two sons, my uncle; the youngest, is an advocate in the Delhi High Court, while the elder, my father; was an Assistant General Manager with the India Today group before he passed away. It would be fair to say that my Babaji was a great father who despite his limitations, ensured his children went on to become highly successful people with comfortable lives; even if it meant he spent most of his adult life toiling to pave their way. I know he didn’t mind it one bit.
As for my personal relationship with him; I don’t even know where to begin. I would like to think I was his favorite grandchild. He adored me, and doted on me just a little more than the others. However, even I didn’t realize the extent of his love till my father passed away about 12 years ago while I was still in School. Shortly after this, my mother had a nervous breakdown due to the shock and while she recovered gradually, she wasn’t able to return to her job. At that time, Babaji was retired and had gone back to our village in U.P. to pursue agriculture as a part time activity to keep him busy and also stay financially independent. He took the responsibility of me & my sister completely upon himself and along with my Dadi, they both took the role of our parents. While Dadi took care of the house, Babaji made sure we not only completed our school education and went on to college without any hitch, but also got the other things that a teenager or adolescent (as was the case with my sister) needs as part of the growing up process. He had a modest income from land but he made up for it by never giving a thought to what he ate or the clothes he wore; as long as we were well fed and well dressed.
Even more importantly, he was there for us as a pillar of strength at all times. Never did I feel daunted by any problem because I knew Babaji was by my side to face it, and times, ahead of me, to shield me from it. He was also our philosopher & guide and he would constantly remind to us the importance of being responsible individuals and staying away from vice.
The most incredible part of it is that through all this, never for a moment did he cease to smile! He was without a doubt the happiest and most joyful person I have ever known. He always had a joke to share and a smile to give. He was easily satisfied, content and thankful to God for what he had. He was loved, respected and adored by all his children and all of his 10 grandchildren and that alone meant the world to him. Their happiness meant the world to him. All of his family getting together, under one roof, just being happy in each others' company was the biggest festivity for him and he made sure it happened often. Family or not, everyone who came to him got only affection and they always went away with a smile.
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| With all the grandkids & one great grandkid |
Today, he is not among us, but before he left, he saw to it that his favorite grandson became a self reliant & responsible man; to take care of the family he is leaving behind. And yet, while that may seem to be the truth and while we may be blessed with all amenities & comforts that life requires; I don’t know what I would do without him. I don’t know what we would do without him. I just can’t imagine going on without that smile, without that laugh, without those hilarious words he mispronounced with so much confidence. We’ve all lost a very important part of our lives; for some, a father; for others, a grandfather; for my Dadi, her life partner of over 60 years and yet, I feel I have lost various people at once, because for me, Babaji wasn’t only my grandfather; he was my friend, he was my father and he was my hero.
If in 50 years from now, if I can look back and say I have been even half the man he was, then I’d consider myself to have had a successful life.
My Babaji was an extraordinary man. And I will always miss him.